Justin Theroux secretly loves bologna, hard drugs and Angelina Jolie
The tabloids aren’t feasting on the Uncool Bermuda Triangle (Quadrangle?) this week, or maybe it just feels subdued because last week was such an all-out tabloid craze. So, I made a conscious decision to NOT write about the In Touch Weekly story which claimed that Brad Pitt offered Jennifer Aniston $ 1 million (to the charity of her choice) to pose for a photo with him and Angelina. I didn’t write about it because it didn’t happen.
But I do have some questions about whether this Star Mag story happened. Star actually spoke to a named source, Keith Middlebrook, who claims that he had some “deep” with Justin Theroux about ladies and drugs. My “sketchiness meter” just pinged, so I looked through our archives and I found out where I had heard the name “Keith Middlebrook” before – he was one of Linnocent’s “boyfriends” earlier this year, right after she got out of rehab (circa late March/early April of this year). He paid her bills, including a hotel room and her liquor tab, and he basically made it sound like he was her john. To be fair to Mr. Middlebrook, he actually has an IMDB page, and it looks like he is a working character actor (he was in Moneyball!). Anyway, who knows if this conversation actually took place, but it’s interesting:
Jennifer Aniston might think she’s found the man of her dreams in brooding actor-screenwriter Justin Theroux, but it turns out that his perfect woman is the very vixen Brad Pitt left her for – Angelina Jolie! Actor Keith Middlebrook befriended Justin on the set of Iron Man 2, the action flick written by Justin. Now Keith is exclusively revealing to Star their shocking conversation: “We talked about writing, women and drugs!”
Keith says: “My number one was Jennifer Aniston, and he raised his eyebrow, intrigued.”
But Justin’s pick for A-list fantasy woman is sure to be a shock for Jen: “He said Angelina Jolie. I laughed, saying the only fat she has is in her lips, and he quipped, ‘That’s the only place she needs it!’”
According to Middlebrook, Justin also opened up about then-girlfriend Heidi Bivens. Despite having dated Heidi for 12 years at that point, Justin refused to marry her. “Justin said, ‘Why ruin it?’”
Given Justin’s booming career and chiseled body, Middlebrook was stunned to learn of the shocking details of his new pal’s drug past. While word that Justin once battled drug abuse surfaced last month, “He told me about using powerful painkillers like Dilaudid, as well as mushrooms, ecstasy, cocaine, heroin, LSD and crack.”
Now, a friend is also revealing details of Justin’s alleged alcoholism.
“He was definitely a big drinker,” reveals the source. “Then no one heard from him for a year – then when I saw him, he told me he’d been in AA and getting used to being sober.”
Hopefully, Justin has since changed his preference in women – and is still on the straight and narrow.
“He was the last person you’d suspect to be doing those hard drugs. I thought he was lying about his drug use,” said Middlebrook. “He was just too clean, too together – a really solid guy.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
Obviously, the Angelina Jolie thing is the soundbyte, but I find the drug and alcohol thing much more interesting. At this point, my take on Aniston is that she’s a boozehound, and she likely dabbles in other stuff too, from pot to coke (just my opinion). She’s pretty good at “maintaining” (except for the odd liquor-soaked public appearance), and she’s no Linnocent. Aniston isn’t out in clubs, making an ass out of herself. She’s sitting at home with a margarita and a blunt. But if Justin is Mr. Clean Living and Sobriety – and he became clean and sober only recently – I have to wonder if the difference in their extracurriculars isn’t going to be the biggest deal breaker for their relationship.
Meanwhile, Page Six reports this morning that someone (cough) isn’t buying Aniston and Justin’s relationship. Allegedly? Apparently. Someone thinks Justin is literally made of baloney.
Jennifer Aniston’s neighbors are snickering about a prankster who left a blanket of bologna meat on top of her boyfriend Justin Theroux’s BMW motorcycle early yesterday morning as it was parked outside of the actress’ West 12th Street apartment.
A neighbor walking a dog early in the morning spotted up to 25 slices of “what clearly was bologna” stuck to the seat, the wheels, handlebars, muffler and engine at about 8 a.m. yesterday morning. But shortly after, the bike was cleaned off.
While the identity of the prankster remains a mystery, “I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna,’ ” the neighbor told us. “The bike was in otherwise in fine condition.”
Aniston and Theroux, who met on the set of their movie “Wanderlust,” moved into a Hollywood pad in August. But they have recently been spending time at the West Village apartment she bought in May, combining two apartments on different floors to create a 2,700-square-foot duplex.
Neighbors say Theroux’s bike has been parked outside Aniston’s apartment almost every day this week, and the pair have been repeatedly seen strolling around the city. The happy couple have attracted a lot of attention from photographers, causing a commotion which has unsettled some locals.
Aniston’s rep said, “There are paparazzi outside their apartment 24/7. Don’t you think they would have photographed the person doing it, if indeed this actually happened, which I do not know for sure.”
[From Page Six]
Are the paparazzi there even in the middle of the night? Weird. Whatever, it sounds like a harmless (although funny) prank. *side-eye at Heidi Bivens*
Here are some new photos of Justin and Jennifer last night:
More photos:
Photos courtesy of Fame and Terry Richardson‘s blog.
